Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder is a interesting disorder, not in a good way. If you have never heard of it before I will give you a little bit of an insight to it. The first time I met this 27 year old girl I saw her sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and she had a bloody hole in her forehead. I was told that she had been banging her head into the wall. She was psychotic at the time, the voices had told her to do it. Then I worked with her, she would stumble up and down the halls, confused, walking into other patients rooms. I then found her in her room with her hand filled with lotion, lifting her hand to her mouth about to eat it. I ran over, grabbed her wrist and walked her to the bathroom and threw her hand under the faucet. I washed it off as she stood there in a daze. I got her under her covers and sat there praying that she would fall asleep. I even tried singing to her again. This patient left and came back to us about 5 or 6 times. The most times a patient has ever left and returned to us in the history of our hospital. You see, with borderline there are traces of psychosis but for the most part the patient is always lucid. Its just that can become psychotic for small amounts of time. For the other 95% of the time they are completely aware, manipulative, attention seeking, self-harming and needy. The next time I saw her she was completely lucid. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe the change I saw in her. She was happy, smiling and asking me for something. That became the norm. Wanting to talk about herself, asking for things she didn’t need just to get attention, harming herself, crying and yelling when she didn’t get what she wanted, and blaming everyone else for her depression. The worst of it was the self-harm. Once when we turned our backs, she swallowed 8 plastic spoons tied with rubber bands to get them down. The next time is 4 double A batteries from the remote. The next time was cutting a hole into her hand with I don’t know what. When we bandaged it she would take the bandage off and continue to dig further with her fingernails. And of course the head banging was almost a daily ritual. We as staff talked to her, gave her comfort, love and advice. We were there every moment would could have been. We even found ourselves wondering could we had done more to help her. But then I would remember that people with Borderline were really good at making you feel as though they are the victim and that it is your fault if they fail. Eventually she left for 6th time and we were all waiting for the day we would see her again. But that day never came. Her pain came to an end, she ended her life with shoelaces. We are happy that she can now be free from her suffering. We will never forget her.

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2 thoughts on “Borderline Personality Disorder

  1. Pingback: Update on My 30×30 Day Challenges | When "Positive Thinking" and "Deep Breathing" aren't enough...

  2. Pingback: Detoxing and Borderline Personality Disorder | talscrazylife

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